Back to Where it all Began
I have never shied away from the fact that Postnatal Depression and more so Anxiety has been a large part of my life for a long time. It went undiagnosed, untreated and swept to the side, which (suprise!) did not make it better. It is one of those things that time simply doesn’t heal. There was too much going on around me, too many of others problems to concentrate on, I was too overwhelmed to deal with myself. That is the trick that anxiety plays on you, spiralling into a never ending – end of the world crevasse from which you can never escape on your own. My feelings I blamed entirely on my birth experience, then later the fact I couldn’t exclusively breastfeed my child. This may well have been the origin but postnatal depression and anxiety are so much more than that. Never the less I felt that is where it all began.
The April Story
I thought I was ready to share my first, less than ideal birth. One in which I should be truly grateful for a healthy son and a physically healthy me. But birth is so much more than that. I have debriefed this with myself, I have written about it in secret, I have even written a letter to the hospital to try to heal. I thought I could share with you. I went into the file that I have hidden under the title of “The April Story”. I read it. I froze. Turns out, even now, after a second birth and three years on, those feelings are just as heart wrenching for me and I can’t bring myself to edit something so rawly written.
Two days postpartum. Just after a breastfeeding lecture and lots of tears, when the professional photographer showed up.
Share Your Journey
I encourage you to write your story. Without punctuation, without a care for grammar. The simple act of penning or keying your experience can help to make sense of it. For me I also felt one of the hospital staff contributed to my “trauma” and though it took me seven months, I still wrote to the hospital to express this. I even received a response. Write the letter, even if you never send it.
You owe it to Yourself
With all the other challenges you are facing in your life, today I add one more. Reach out. To someone you know well, to someone you’ve only recently met, to a complete stranger – but compassionate ear on the other end of the phone. You may have tried to reach out before and it didn’t quite yield the much needed results. I can highly recommend, from experience, the phone call to beyondblue. I was sat down and forced to call them by a very stubborn and annoyingly always right husband. Today I am giving you the push. I am making you sit down and make the call. Because YOU are worth it. You CAN feel good again. You DO deserve to be happy. You MUST, today, put yourself first. We can not give from an empty cup.
Where to from Here
7cups.com – you can literally talk to a computer bot if chatting with a judgey human is not your style. No need to be anxiously waiting for the other person on the end of the chat to respond. Bots respond instantly.
https://mindfit.org.au – ready to see a psych? Find your perfect match here. It’s litterally tinder for mental health professionals. You can choose location, price range after rebate, chatting style and more. Did you know you in WA you are eligible for free psych sessions? You need to access a care plan from your GP but you also need the name of the psych first. Choose one here and then go see you local Dr. go prepared xx
Beyond blue and Lifeline are your go to’s on the phone.
beyondblue Support Service: 1300 22 4636
Begin your healing journey with Reducing Mental Clutter: An e-program designed by busy Mum of three and wellness coach Linda Anderson. Learn through inspiration and practical tips on winning at busy Mum life.
More Words From Me
Let me be your accountability and share with me your steps. The best part of this blog is the interaction from new friends. You’ve Got This. You Are Enough. xx
